Loving Heart

My heart beats love and only love. For me, for my partner, for my family, for my earth, for all of life. My heart beats for the love of life itself. This is amazing! This is tear inducing! This is the power of the heart.

The heart always takes care of us. It knows that it is protecting something sacred within. That is why I am building a beautiful temple around my heart. Because in my heart lives the most genuine love that I have for my self. Because dwelling deep in the heart of my heart is Divine Love. It is a Love that I cannot even begin to comprehend with my mind, and yet I know it as my own truth.

As a collective society, we get so distracted by our mind that we ignore our heart completely, possibly even to the point of causing it to become diseased or fail. This is no way to treat our heart that lives to keep us alive. This is not Self Love, this is Self Destruction. This is where our shift must begin. With loving our hearts and living from our hearts. I know this may sound like a far-fetched fantasy world, but the change begins with how we decide to live NOW. Now is the only time we can ever do anything. NOW is the time to listen to our heartbeats and relearn what it means to LOVE, for our selves, for our planet, and for each other!

If we do not fully love our selves, how can we expect to love all of our brothers and sisters on this earth? Fear, anger, and hate cannot exist where Love is. Pure Love only gives while Fear only takes more for itself. What way is this to treat our earth family? Where so few have so much that could be shared for the benefit of all life? Our planet is very clearly spinning directly toward its own destruction yet we live our lives as if everything will be ok because that is the easy thing to do. We consume and consume, wiping out our mother’s precious resources yet we still think it is a good idea to continue this cycle. We even continue to bring new humans into a world that we continue to destroy. “It’ll become their problem. It’s too late for us anyway…” NO! YOU CANNOT IDLY WAIT FOR A HERO TO COME SAVE YOU ANY LONGER. YOU MUST BECOME YOUR OWN HERO.

Gandhi puts it so simply, “If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change. As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change towards him. … We need not wait to see what others do.”

NOW is the time to reclaim our innate power to LOVE and to spread it all over the planet like there is no tomorrow… because who really knows if tomorrow will ever come?

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Dream Symbolism 8/23/16

Last night I dreamt of an eagle. I was standing outside and noticed a flock of birds taking flight. I didn’t think much of it at first other than wondering at how many birds there were, but then I noticed that the flock was attacking a much larger bird in the middle. It was a Golden Eagle! The eagle easily deflected the attacks of the smaller birds and soared up above them into the sky and spread its wide wings like in this beautiful picture. I was awestruck by the magnificence of this bird.

Of course being curious about the symbolism of my dreams, I looked up “eagle” and “bird” on dreammoods.com and here is what came up that I found to be possible symbols:

Eagle

To see an eagle in your dream symbolizes nobility, pride, fierceness, freedom, superiority, courage,  and powerful intellectual ability. It also represents self-renewal and your connection with your spirituality. You will struggle fiercely and courageously to realize your highest ambitions and greatest desires.

Birds

To see birds in your dream symbolize your goals, aspirations and hopes. To dream of flying birds, represent joy, harmony, ecstasy, balance, and love. It denotes a sunny outlook in life. You are experiencing spiritual freedom and psychological liberation. It is almost as if a weight has been lifted off your shoulders.
To dream of birds on the attack means that you are being pulled into too many directions. You are experiencing conflict with your spirituality.

When I first read this, I felt that my dream was about self-renewal. But as I reflected more upon this dream throughout the day, I wondered if perhaps the eagle was a symbol for my Self. Freeing my soul of things that no longer serve me.

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What is Embrace Awakening?

If you’re reading this post, you’re probably wondering where the title of this blog comes from and what it means to me. It’s a rather long story (see short version below if you just want a summary lol), but I will tell it for you as best as I can, it is my own after all.


SHORT VERSION: Have you ever woken up from a dream feeling terrified and startled because the dream seemed more real than your physical reality? This is how I felt when I “woke up”. Now I say “wake up” meaning that one day my Higher Self knocked on my head to see if anyone was home and then shook me out of the deepest daydream I have ever had- my whole life. This awakening shattered many misperceptions I had about my life within a matter of days. The best thing I can think of is to relate this to The Matrix when Neo emerges from his cocoon and finds out that his whole life has been a mental construction in a computer generated world. This was completely unnerving to say the least! I was totally freaking out but felt like if I talked about what I was thinking that I would be laughed at, instantly written off as a freak, or worse- mentally ill. I was afraid to talk about what I was going through with EVERYONE. I was pushing my loved ones away from me in fear of losing them, but that is exactly what I was doing by remaining silent about my experience. Looking back now that the storm is long gone, I see that fall 2015 was the time of my Kundalini awakening. My Kundalini energy was very suddenly awakened from its slumber before I knew how to control its power. I did not know how to deal with all of the energy inside of me and I nearly destroyed my life within a matter of weeks. I was restless and insatiable, full of fear and distress. I felt more lost than ever yet also more alive than ever. It took me around 9 months to “readjust” after my Kundalini awakening. This really started in 2016 when I took action to become my greatest version of my Self. I began eating a plant-based diet (I recently shifted to eating vegan) and deepened my meditation practice. I desperately and obsessively learned anything I could about spirituality (I have the book collection to prove it!), ranging from the way it was practiced in ancient civilizations to the way it is explained today by Quantum Physics. I couldn’t absorb knowledge fast enough. I had a terrible time completing my school work during this time because all I wanted to study was spirituality! After about five months of this frenzied spiritual searching, I was finally tired of never finding answers and began to shift my search inward into the deep depths of my Being. This is when I truly embraced my own awakening and allowed it to transform me into who I am now. This is Embrace Awakening.


LONG VERSION: It was mid-August of 2015. I was living at home for the rest of the summer, spending days home alone without a car or friends to go hang out with as they were all back in school already. It was the perfect time to become best friends with my Self. And that’s exactly what ended up happening. Unknowingly, I was about to leave Rachel as I knew her behind forever. Unknowingly, I would never look back.

I began spending my days watching videos on YouTube about spirituality, ancient history, and consciousness (I’m sure I’ll write about some of these in the future). I was manically obsessed with watching these videos. I binged on them for about a week. I was questioning everything I had ever taken as a truth, including the identity that I had formed for myself. Alongside my speed-consumption of new knowledge, I upped the frequency and the depth of my meditations. I learned how to activate my chakras. I learned how to feel and raise my own vibration. I began my healing/purifying process without knowing really what I was getting myself into. This is when my Kundalini energy was first awakened.

In fall 2015, I learned how the association with the ego is a false identity that distorts our perceptions and keeps us separated from Love. I learned this lesson a very hard way, nearly destroying myself and shutting the door on the soul I hold most dearly to my own. My ego sensed my Kundalini awakening, it sensed that I would soon see through its deception, its maya, and it came up with a plan to make me come running back to it by ruining my external life. My ego was trying to keep me from breaking free and realizing the truth about my Higher Self. My ego manipulated the power of my newly awakened and untamed Kundalini to use it against me, creating Darth Rachel The Destroyer. My ego was fighting with all its might to keep me as its lifelong prisoner. Rachel was tragically drowning in her ego, not even aware that it wasn’t her Self who was destroying her.

It was only in my darkest nights that I was able to see myself for what I had become, and I absolutely hated the reflection. I am not sure if I have ever experienced a stronger feeling of uncontrollable rage and self-loathing than I did in that time. I wanted nothing to do with this monster. It had taken over Rachel in the time when she was most vulnerable and it had distorted her into a ball of powerful, furious, fearful energy. For anyone who has ever met me- this wasn’t me at all. It felt like I had really been taken over by a Sith, it was terrifying how lost I was. I have never felt so mentally unstable in my life.

It took 10 weeks of weekly counseling to really start letting go of my deeply rooted anger. It was winter of 2016 and I was now starting to see past the illusions of my ego and making the conscious choice to leave my ego in the background. The emotional storms from my Kundalini energy had subsided and I was feeling much more stable. By springtime, I had built up the courage to begin seeking answers within my Self. This is when I learned to truly embrace my awakening. I learned to address my Self with love and acceptance in every moment. I also began to approach my social encounters in this manner as well. I would wake up and go to sleep affirming to myself, “I am love, I am light” and I really began to feel this as truth.

I experienced new ways of perceiving my energy during this time as well. My meditations became even deeper and more renewing. I could physically hear and feel my energetic vibration in moments of stillness. I was aware of my Kundalini flowing through my chakras and could feel energy radiating from and around my physical body. Trippy, right? This is the story behind Embrace Awakening. My sincerest hope in sharing my personal journey of awakening is to spread the raising of consciousness, self-love, and self-acceptance.

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